my secret life ! Four years*

Four years of holding hands
Four years of hugging,
Four years of laughing,
Four years of cuddling.

Four years of loving
Four years of kissing
Four years of touching
Four years of romancing.

Four years of your love
Four years of my love,
Four years of our love
Four years of true love.

Baby Four years with you
Is a years of happiness,
A years of passion,
A years of joy,
A years blessed.

my secret life ! Falls for you*

What make me falls for you ..



You make me feel special
You make me feel new
You make me feel loved
With everything you do

You hold me close when I am sad
You wipe the tears from my face
Every time we are together
It seems like the perfect place

I love the way you kiss me
The way you hold me tight
I love the way you touch me
I could be with you all night

I love the way you can make me laugh
For absolutely no reason at all.
I love how no matter what I do
You will be there to catch me when I fall

I just want you to know,
That even though we sometimes fight
I will always love you!
No matter what, day or night

my secret life ! All I need*

Your love surrounds me like the air that I breathe
Your kiss touches me as gentle as a breeze
Your touch is as tender as that of a child
Your hug is warm, meek, and mild
Each day we grow older and its plain to see
The love that you give me is all that I need.

my secret life ! What I love about you*

What I Love About You

Here's the truth .. What I love about you


The sparkle in your eye
The warmth of your skin
Your breath on my neck
That quivers within

The touch of your hand
The smell of your hair
The kindness in your smile
That strength in your stare

Your kiss on my lips
Your body near mine
The stroke of your touch
That feeling inside

The sound of your voice
Compassion in your embrace
The serenity in your stride
The power in your face

The calming of your presence
The beating of your heart
The promise of tomorrow
That we may never part

The beauty of your kiss
and that magic in your touch
It is for all these reasons and more
Why I love you so much

my secret life ! thinking*

Sometimes at night, when I look at the sky,
I starts to thinking of you and then ask myself, why?
Why do I love you so bad? I think and smile,
because I know the list could run on for miles.

The whisper of your voice, the warmth of your touch,
so many little things that make me love you so much.
The way you support me, and help with my emotions,
the way that you care and show such devotion.
The way that your kiss, fills me with desire,
and how you hold me with the warmth of a blazing fire.
The way your eyes shine when you look at me,
lost with you forever is where I want to be.
The way that I feel when you're by my side,
a sense of completion and overflowing pride.

The dreams that I dream, that all involve you,
the possibilities I see and the things we can do.
How you finish the puzzle that lies inside my heart,
how that deep in my soul, you are the most important part.
I could go on for days, telling of what I feel,
but all you really must know is my love for you is real.


Iloveyou Maizatul Nadirah !

my secret life ! counting*

"Asraff .. you should move on with your life .. you should .. its time for you to think about yourself . make friends with everyone and have fun with your life and enjoy and spend every min nicely .."


that what my friends said to me after I broke up .. what they said its true .. I should move on and have fun with my own life .. I can do that .. yeah now its easy for me to move on . but am the one who doesnt want to move on . and still waiting and hoping for her. heh . its weird . why am i waiting and hoping? maybe there's still love in my heart.. but yeah if I move on for sure I'll be someone else .. am not going to be a good guy . who knows rite?

but day by day passing by. Am scared that my feelings toward her will fade . Am worried I cant feel her love and her touch anymore . Am worried if I move on . something will happen to her .
Because when I move one .. am not going to keep in touch with her anymore . I wont care about her .. I'll change my numbers . I'll change everything . I'll delete all our pictures and maybe our memories . that's the right thing that I have to do if I move on . but not now .. at this time .. I wont move on and still holding for her ..

but there's 3 steps that you should know when the time I really really move on..

First step : I'll comment with girls back .. hanging around with girls ..

Second step : I wont call you or text you like 3weeks in the row... and another 1 week at
thursday I'll call you to check how are you

Third step : I'll give back your bracelet


the First step
baby .. that what I will do when the time come and that is my first step. I'll try to find a girl that can make me forget about you .. I'll hang out with girls to make myself happy. even though you know . when am with another girl . I will feel guilty because am not used to it.

the Second step
I wouldnt call or text you ..its like if suddenly I dont text you .. thats my second step . It will help me to try to forget about your voice and your manjaness things that can make me falls for you back..

the Third step
I will give back your bracelet that you gave be before you're off to London .. but you should know something about this part. If I still dont give back the bracelet to you .. you still have a chance to win my heart back .. and as long as the bracelet is still in my hand .. it means that am still love you and hoping for you to come back to me ... but you should know . its hard to you to win my heart back .. but if you really really want me .. make me falls for you .. and its not easy for me to give it back because .. the bracelet is the most precious thing and I love and I would die to protect that bracelet . so if I return it back . am sorry . my heart will close forever ..



I know .. all the steps is like bullshit and gila poyo .. but what the fuck . I dont give hell rite ? that is what I will do when the time come . ; )
a

my secret life ! True Love*

Four years Five months One day
That's how long we have been together.
We have got every moment hasn't been perfect
But still when its perfect it feels
Like we're the only two people who have something real


Two months Two weeks Four days
That's how long since we broke up
I couldn't believe it .. it happened so fast.
We were happy together.
Like Romeo & Juliet .
but .. things happened so fast ..
but there's something God wanted to show to both of us .
and I can feel it .

When you say you need me like the way I need you
And you cant be without me
Like I cant be without you
It's a Love baby .
Love that still in our heart.
and when we spend time talking on the phone
Talking about our memories and sweet moments
and sometimes you called me if you're alone and dont want to be alone
and I always there to comfort you..
baby cant you see? Its Love .. True love ..
Dont you know its good to be together ?
Believe me baby .. true love wouldnt make you cry and make your heart hurt everyday ..

Baby.. please wake up and see around you .. look at the people who you think love you ..
Is he really really love you ? ask yourself .. what makes you think he is inlove and love you ? if he really really love you .. he wouldnt hurt you like everyday .. he wont yeld and force you to do something that you dont want to do ..

and look.. what I know about love..

Now when the love is right
somehow you just know
because you hold it tight
And you dont want to let it go
And its so deep inside of you that
you just cant take it cause it fills up your heart
And you just , you cant replace the true love to someone who actually dont know what is the meaning of true love..

my secret life ! Tv9 carnival*

urghhhh TIREDDDDDDDD ! just now .. I just arrived home from rumah popo . heh . its a tiring day . Since yesterday 11.00 pm until 5.00am I went out. and I slept at popo's house . den 8.30 woke up and followed popo and we went tv9 carnival at shah alam with POPO and IWAN . hahaha. penatt tau takk . den we have to waited Dia fadila lagi . perghh . hahaha even though . its funny ;) . serious . lepak ngan popo with his artists gengs . hahaha. and and and wehhh .. that Popo told Dia fadila yang I minat gila kat dia and time dia nak balik .. she said like this .. " eh you eh yang suka i tu ? , not that kind for suka but cam minat " . I was like what the hell POPO . you told her? hahaha siall. then I was like tatau nak ckp ape . den ckpp ah.. oww yeahh . am the one. hahahahahaha . lawak gila time tu . den mak Dia pon da gelak gelak dah. Setan POPO .I was like maluuuuuuuuuuu gillaaa doh.. hahaha. den after that . .. we picked Nana at Uitm shah alam . Iwan's gf :) . She's nice . even though I just met her today. She's nice though :) den we went the curve for Woroeng Penyek something .. haha Nana wanted to eat that ayam penyek. it was the 1st time I ate it . hahaha SEDAPPPP giLA ... hahaha. sumpah it was delicious though .. den Ecah arrived .. Nana's sister . friend of popo's . hahaha den we gelak gelak there like hell cam buduh.. that popo buat lawak buduh dia like usual . heh . hahah .den we went back at popo's house to do Alexa's things. the tangs for this thursday at Zouk KL .. heh cant wait .. heh rinduu nya today .. but anyway . am tired and tak larat nk tulis blog lagi ;) . so haha thats my today story . agaga :P . so night .. take care. thanks for reading :))

my secret life ! Dont worry*

Do you worry about me?

Dont worry baby ..where ever I go .. I'll always be yours .
Its true . for me . am still yours .. am still part of you and you're still part of me . I just dont know.
why its hard for me to push you away from my life . I'm trying my very hard to forget about you. but .. it seems wrong . and yeah . I just have to face the fact that .. you're still part of me and Im still in love with you ..

No matter I go .. No matter how far far away from you . No matter I've new environment .. new chapter .. Im still yours . I still the old Muhammad Asraf that you knew . never change . : )

I Love you <3

my secret life ! I miss*

Your kiss,
Your smile,
Your mind, your sunlight in my eyes.
I miss..
Your breath on my neck, when we whisper .

Now I can't go on without you,
I'm naked,
I can't fake it,
I'm not that strong without you
Never thought I could love you,
The way I do



Baby , I need you, like the ocean needs the tide. :(

my secret life ! As long*

As long as waterfall flowing down the river
As long as stars shine the sky
As long as the river run into sea
As long as waves hits the sand
As long as wind blow the earth
As long as the sun bright our planet
As long as birds singing
As long as the moon lights the dark night

I'll be always be there for you

my secret life ! strength*

I have a strength to do everything

but

I don't have a strength to see you with other guy

my secret life ! Do you?*

Do you know its painful to see you with that guy ?
Do you know I've sacrifices things for you?
Do you know I'm bleeding inside?
Do you know that you're killing me?
Do you know that you treated me like shit?
Do you know you used me like am a recycle box?
Do you know that you are using me?
Do you know that when you say about him you make me sick ?

I guess you never know all that because you look at him and dont actually care about my feeling :(

my secret life ! Everything*

"how do I feel about you my everything"

Before I met you since our last contact. Since you be my girlfriend at primary school and until we broke up . Then we met all by sudden through MSN . That time I was like "oke this is my ex at primary . and yeah since we chatted everyday suddenly I felt something towards you . since I went to high school 3.1.2004 . my life is empty and what I know is playing around . but suddenly I met you back and starts from that moment . I'm falling in love with you .yeah I'm falling in love with you back wahai Maizatul Nadirah . and you shined my day and night . and I made my decision that I will ask you to be my gf 5.11.2004 and gave you 3days to give me the answer. and 8.11.2004 finally . you made your desicion .. you are officially be my gf and yeah words couldnt describe how happy I am . and since that day . youve shine and completed my day until we broke up 22.1.2009 . :S You
gave me strength . you gave me life . you gave everything . You teached me how to love someone and to be love by someone . You teached me everything that I couldnt do it alone . You gave me air for me to breathe . You are my everything .. You are my everything . Nothing your love wont bring . My life is yours alone sayang . The only love I've ever known . Your spirit pulls me through ... when nothing else will do . Every night I pray that you will always be my everything . These past 4years... all my hopes and all my dreams are suddenly reality . You have opened up my heart to feel a kind of love that's truly real . A guiding light that'll never fade . There's not a thing in life that I would ever trade for the love you give it wont let go . And I hope you'll always know that you're always be my everything .


I LOVE YOU UNTIL DEATH

my secret life ! Speechless*

You used to love me
You used to need me
and I know ..
You never meant to leave me
but you left me
When the time I needed you the most
You never know that , that time I really really need you .
am sick and wanted you to be there for me and hold me .
but you left me just like that .
You made me cried like a rain
but I let you to chose him without yelling or saying anything
because I did not have strength that time and let you walked away like that .
maybe its fate .. what we have been planned for our future .. definitely ....
and maybe its the best for us . best for you I guess
since you left me am trying my best to forget about you
but thats the hardest part

Sayang, you chose him .. you chose to be with him and forget about our relationship that we've build. you chose 1month than 4years.
I guess thats the stupidest thing that you have done
but I'd never blaming you on this
just be happy
You will be fine sayang .
I will pray for your happiness

Lots of love :)

my secret life ! Star*

There is only one star in my sky.
The star that faithful to me since the first it appeared
The star that always shine and sparkles my night
The only one star that I want to see every night
The star that completed my night
The star that always make me smiling all night long

but

The only one star in my sky is gone away
The star that faithful to me since the first it appeared been stolen
The star the used to shine and sparkles my night will shine to someone else
The only one star that I want to see every night would not ever coming back
The star that used completed my heart would not ever complete my heart again
The star that always make me smiling all night long is already gone and that star would not ever see my smiling face again .

my secret life ! Easy*

Its so easy for you to say "I'm sorry sayang"
You've done it again
The same mistake that you did

Wheres is your feelings?
When you did it again to me?
The same mistake that you did ?

Is this is your way ?
To appreciate my love?
That ive been giving you ?

Its hurt
When you left me and divided your love into two

But my love for you
I'd never regret it
because am the one who chose you to be queen of my heart !

my secret life ! Holding*

Faithfully, I trace your name while you sleep

It's the only true comfort I feel

I still run

I still swing open the door

I still think you'll be there like before

Doesn't everybody out there know to never come around

Some things a heart won't listen to

I'm still holding out for you

Holding out for you

my secret life ! I miss you*

I MISS YOU...

I miss you Maizatul Nadirah

I miss you so much
I miss your face
I miss your kiss
I even miss the arguments
That we would have from time to time
I miss you standing by my side
I'm dying here its clear to see
There ain't no you, God knows there ain't no me
Don't want to live, I wanna die
If I cant have you in my life

:(

my secret life ! She's gone*

She's gone,
Out of my life.
I was wrong,
I'm to blame,
I was so untrue.
I can't live without her love.

In my life
There's just an empty space.
All my dreams are lost,
I'm wasting away.
Without you by my side

Baby, would you save me?
My heart belongs to you
Only you.

Come back into my arms
I'm so alone,
I'm begging you,
I'm down on my knees
Please take my hands and hold me