hurting*

I just got back back from hexagon cc Aman Suria . Playing dota and trying to cheer up myself and trying to forget what happened just now . I guess it hurt me . Felt unappreciated . Am wondering myself . Am I doing the right thing ? Did I fooling myself by doing that? hah . its hard to tell . All messed up . I even couldnt sleep since yesterday . thinking about you. think what's the best for you. and still trying to take your back . why why and why ? about just now . Babe, is it hard for you to put all those stuff on the ground and just hug me on the spot ? Is it hard for you to do that ? I just wanted it so bad beacause if you hug me ..it will be nice for me and I can feel that you're really2 appreciate what I have done . ok I know that you appreciated it . but .. umph . I sakit hati sangat . tatau asal . and you dont even mention about the bracelet and the cake and the teddy . urgh . Babe you know I've through hard time today just to buy all those present for you? Last night I couldnt sleep just to think about what am I going to do about ur surprise . heh . and now I dont even know what am thinking. I even couldnt think proper . urgh ... I went to cyberjaya and wanted to do surprise birthday for you . but at the end of the day ? " ow awak I kat bawah hostel you . cyberia " den you replied? " ow oke" "hahbetul ke" ? . You didnt even get excited about that . haah? I thought you will be happy or what , but .. heh . pastu you turun bawah and met me with your friends . and I thought oke . . she's here . omg omg what am going to do ? should I hug or what . oke fine . tape la . tayah hug la . dia ngan kawan dia . after that .. we met and talk talk forawhile and I bagi barang kt you . Babe . cant you see that time I need you ? I need your hug . just 1 hug dacukup bagi I . Im in a problem .. cant you see in my eyes? or you tak kenal I ? bila i ada problem bila i tak ? heh ... tatau ah ape i tulis ni . hah . but the question and the bottom line is . why? why u always do this to me ? I susah gila oke nk pegi cyberjaya . but i pergi jgak utk buat surprise for my shorty , its oke for me utk susah for u . but u ? at least la kn . at least. please ahh . hang around and talk to me for 10 mins or what . ni tak . u always penting kn ur friends smua , but im not blaming u on that . and maybe ure in the middle of something and i kacau . but hey , can you freeze that and jmpa i kejap ? talk to me ? but entah la . I pon tatau nk cakap ape lagi . its hard for me to say , but now ... ape i sedih sangat ni is . you tak mention about the bracelet and the cake and the teddy, and u tak hug i pon time we met just now . u tak talk to me just for awhile . aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh . wanted to kill someone ah . I dont know what else i can do with this feeling . Its like . Its kelling me slowly deep inside .